


Trust Fall

by stonewaiis



Category: T@gged (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, F/M, M/M, i suck at summaries, none of the show stuff happened, this is entirely an au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stonewaiis/pseuds/stonewaiis
Summary: Trevors idea of moving to the city for college definitely hadn’t included a newly minted step sister and mother, or a nice coastal house, not to mention the anger-issues next door neighbour who’s window is directly opposite his own. He’s not entirely sure he has the mental state to deal with it all, and the overwhelming start of college at the same time.
Relationships: Trevor Askill/Brandon Darrow
Comments: 12
Kudos: 8





	1. Out of This World

Moving houses was such a weird activity to Trevor. He realistically knew anyone could just pay a moving company to move all of their things in one day, and he also knew the cost of that was probably the reason most people don’t. It was so simple, and yet his own newly minted family decided to not do that at all, and to instead take it upon themselves to move all of their own things hours away to a new city with a measly two cars.

Lucky for him, he only had to do the trip once. His room had always been scarcely decorated, and all of the furniture had been driven up to their new house over the span of a few weeks by his dad and his ‘new mom’, as she oh-so-cleverly called herself. So, that left him sleeping on a futon on the floor for a week and packing the little semblance of any interests or hobbies into boxes to be stacked into his dad's car and driven five hours away. Maybe they’d seen it as a bonding opportunity. 

That was most likely the case, he figured, as he sat amongst cramptly packed-in boxes with two bags on his lap, headphones over his ears and only 20% battery left on his phone, three and a half hours into the trip. To make matters worse, he’d been saddled with being shotgun to his brand new, shiny step-sister whom he had nothing in common with. It was all very exciting, obviously. 

Trevor couldn’t really describe Rowan if he tried. He’d decided to hate her the second he found out his dad had been in a long running relationship with her mom, not too long after the divorce from his own mom. He’d never expected his dad to be a cheater, but he supposed people surprised you every day. And yeah, he knew none of that was Rowans fault, but he felt almost patronized by her and her ability to be so kind, to both Trevor and his dad. It pissed him off. 

“Do you want to play your music through the car?” She asked, and he would’ve ignored her if not for the fact she annoyed him so much. That’s how he’d been dealing with the woman who coaxed his father to cheat: ignorance. Ignorance is bliss. But Rowans attitude and entire personality was like an itch he couldn’t reach, and his desperate attempts to ignore her normally resulted in him throwing a tantrum or making a scene. 

“You wouldn’t like it.” He spoke bluntly, keeping his eyes locked on the dim blue of the darkening sky, the magical music video type of city lights in the distance. He wasn’t mad about the moving, it was all for him and Rowan really, so they could live at home and not have to pay for dorms at the college they were starting at. It was a smart idea, and he actually really loved the new house, the idea of living in the city. Him and his dad had always talked about it, ever since they visited the city when he was younger. “It’s old.”

Rowan tapped at the steering wheel, her long nails making an annoyingly loud beat. Trevor could feel his legs aching and a deep set need to sprint a long distance, making his anger levels rise even more. “I don’t mind. I’m focusing on the road, anyway.” That was the irrefutable kindness, again. Trevor clenched his teeth and curled his hand into his lap: making a scene on the side of a road would not be a good first day of a fresh start. 

“Fine.” Trevor gritted. It would be a way to charge his phone, if the port was free. He’d always swear that was the only reason he fixed up the settings to play through the shitty cars stereo and tore out his headphones with a little too much vigor for such a. simple act. 

The opening to Out Of This World by The Cure instantly blazed through the speakers, and Rowan laughed in a quiet tone. “I love this song, actually. My dad loves The Cure, so I grew up listening to them.” Trevor ignored the little red bottle of annoyance he can practically visualize in his head, even as the contents spill out of the bottle and he has to grip tight to the seat to stop himself from yelling. What he would’ve yelled, he doesn’t even slightly know. He knew he was being incredibly over reactive, even more so than usual, but the slow pass of time and inability to move around much was driving him insane. 

So, through gritted teeth, he desperately asked Rowan to pull into the nearest service station. He did notice the weird judging stroke concerned look she gave him, but she didn't audibly question him. The station was just up ahead, and she pulled in without a word. After parking, she told him to take his time and that she’d text their parents that they’d arrive a tiny bit late. He didn't really listen. 

Trevor was out of the car before Rowan had even fully parked. He was pretty sure his phone had fallen to the floor along with the bags he’d had surrounding him or on top of him, but he didn't stop to notice before speed walking in the direction of the small mall-looking building. There were a lot of travel coaches in the parking lot, and big family vans and campers. The inside wasn't too busy, aside from what appeared to be a group of school kids and their teachers filling up a McDonalds area, and other randomly dotted around groups of people in sweatpants and hoodies. 

He ignored them all and headed straight to the bathroom, which was completely empty and also strangely sterile clean. 

The first thing Trevor noticed, was how he looked like complete and utter shit. His eyes were dark and his hair was a mess, the curls sticking up even under the hood of an excessively large sweatshirt. The dark jeans he was wearing were crinkled and twisted from being sat down amongst bags for way too long, and his whole aroma made it obvious how exhausted he was. 

He thought about the already set up bed in his room in the city, not just a shitty futon on a cold wooden floor, and quickly goes to the bathroom. On his way out of the station, he orders a spiced chai latte for himself, and hesitated before ordering a simple filter coffee for Rowan. She may have been the ultimate cause of his sudden freak out, but she had been nice to him through it and it wasn’t actually her fault. Whatever. 

She didn’t even seem impatient or annoyed when he returned to the car. He noticed his phone on the dashboard and the bags stuffed in his foot space, and slid into his seat. They were silent for a few seconds before he coughs, awkwardly, and holds out the coffee. “So you don’t crash before we even reach the city. I got you some sugar packets just in case, too.” He hands the little paper sachets over, trying to ignore her smile as she takes them and the warm cup.

The rest of the drive is quiet, with Trevors music turned down to a low hum but still playing through the speakers. After a while he caves and switches it to his less pretentious, newer music in his incredibly messily-organized playlists, and Rowan doesn’t comment on that either. 

They pull up to their new driveway only twenty minutes later than expected, and Trevor feels like he could cry and kiss the earth as if he’d been stuck in the atmosphere of space for years, rather than stuck in an SUV for a few hours. They only take a few things in, boxes of their most necessary stuff, silently deciding they were way too tired to bring all of the boxes and bags in. Rowans mom and Trevor's dad were in the kitchen when they got in, and both were clearly excited by the way they reacted when they heard the door open. Rowan joined in straight away, all three of them idly chatting about oh how lovely the house is and i can’t wait to visit the beach all the time. 

Trevor watches in silence, shooting smiles at whoever whenever they looked over or spoke directly to him. After ten minutes he decides that that was his socialization for the day, and speaks only to his dad when he says he’s going to bed. “Are you sure sweetie?” Rowans mom, Cassidy, asked. Trevor exhaled quietly, summoning every last ounce of will to not yell at someone he had left. “We were going to heat up some food and watch a movie or something.”

“I’m tired, and not hungry.” He shrugged, tightening his grip around the cardboard box. Cassidy nods, and they all bid him a goodnight as he leaves the room.

Trevor had visited the house, once, with his dad a little after he’d first brought up moving to the city with Cassidy and Rowan. Trevor had freaked out on the day, said some dumb shit in the heat of the moment that he only half meant, none of it malicious toward his dad. The next day, his dad signed him off sick and they had a road trip-esque drive to the city with many stops and way too much talking about the situation. His dad showed him the house, the beach, and the college. He’d loved it all. 

“This is where you’ve always wanted to be,” his dad had said as they walked along the long stretch of path just above the sand of the beach. “I know it’s not ideal for you. I know you’ve always wanted it to be this with me, you and your mom, but that never would’ve worked. Give them a chance, give the city a chance. It’ll be amazing, Trevor.”

It hadn’t turned out amazing yet, but granted it had only been twenty minutes. He still estimated it’d take him two weeks to have a breakdown or screaming match. 

The one good thing at that point was his room. Trevor instantly felt a little bit better as he entered. It was quite big, though not as big as his father and Cassidys room. There was a huge window with a sitting space on one wall, and another small skylight one on the alcove part of his room. His bed in the corner on the other side of the room, and there was a wardrobe and a desk along another, and boxes of his things were in the corner of the room. He might have gotten a tiny bit excited when he noticed the tub with paint pens and brushes by the desk. 

Dumping the box he was carrying on the floor, Trevor instantly dug into it to find his shorts and a clean shirt, and changed into them. He kicked the sweat ridden clothes into a pile next to the door and dove onto his bed, which was a double. In his previous house, he’d had a box room. It was tiny, the size of most peoples bathrooms, and he’d barely been able to fit his twin bed and a desk in there, with his few other things. Rowans mom must’ve made good money for them to have been able to afford their new house. 

The windowsill-seat thing had a dark blueish gray cushion along it, Trevor noticed, shaped and fit perfectly. He crawled across his bed and pulled himself onto it. There was just enough room for him to comfortably sit width wise, and the length meant he could probably study there on more sunny occasions, or use the space to read. It was a nice space, but he was way more interested in the skylight. It was in the alcove area of the room that had nothing in it at that point, and a ceiling that slanted down just slightly. But Trevor knew how the house looked, and he also knew he could easily get to the roof from it. He pushed the uncomfortable looking wooden chair from his desk under it, and didn’t hesitate to climb onto the roof. 

The view was even better than the view from the lounges wall-length coastal view window. He knew where the sea was, but it was just slightly too dark to see it properly. From the safer, flatter part of the roof where he sat, another directional view was directly at the next door neighbours’ twin window, which was parallel to his own. Their houses weren’t too close, because of the two driveways they both had on that side, but he could still see into their house. 

Trevor wasn’t a rude person. Normally, if something like a fight or anything similar happened, he would ignore it when he wasn’t the cause of it. It wasn’t even really out of respect, more out of lack of care. But when, assumably, one of his new neighbours opened their door and slammed it hard (he could tell without hearing anything by the way the thin wood shook ever so slightly), deciding to then barricade the door with a dresser. That was eventful for a first night, and normally one of said things Trevor would ignore. But he was bored, a weird hybrid of tired and energetic, and in desperate need of something to entertain him. 

Then ended pretty soon when said neighbour, who he could now tell was probably his own age, notices his staring. They said something, quite harshly and clearly directed at Trevor, but the two closed windows completely muted the sound. He got the picture when the guy tugged his blinds down, hard. 

One of his new neighbours had a temper worse than his own, an understandable want of privacy and a window facing Trevors own little viewing spot. Great. 

The cities shaping up to be just perfect, Trevor thought as he climbed back into his room and and into his bed, just managing to wriggle under the covers before he fell asleep lightning fast.


	2. Blue Honey

The first thing Trevor swore he would do as soon as he could was buy curtains or blinds for that big ass window. For someone who didn’t actually have to be awake until just before midday, he knew that the shades of bright orange and red of an early rising sun were not in line for midday. He couldn’t exactly go back to sleep though, so he whined and pulled himself out of bed, rather than just laying there and wishing to be lulled back to sleep. There was a lilac coloured sweatshirt on top of his desk that he didn’t remember leaving there, but he still chose to wear that rather than anything else before venturing into the rest of the house. 

The time was around what he’d assumed, the clock that hadn’t been put up yet in the hallway reading 8:58. His eyes stung a little as he made his way downstairs to the kitchen. Annoyingly, almost the entire back wall of the kitchen was glass doors that opened into their garden, so he couldn’t really escape the bright sun. The lights of the house weren’t even on, but Rowan was clearly happy with the available lighting, as she was humming and quite happily making breakfast for herself. Trevor nearly turned on his heel and left. 

“Oh, hey. The parents had to leave early, but your dad left you your favourite smoothie in the fridge?” She said in a questioning tone, like she’d just repeated his dad's words without really considering them. Trevor knew what he meant, and he knew it was probably one of many to follow peace offering gifts, or bribes for him to act like some white picket fence family brother. 

Fuck that. “Okay.” He stalked to the fridge, planning on getting his smoothie and leaving, but stopping when Rowan chose to speak again. She’d been pretty quiet in high school, but when she was comfortable with people she was outspoken. Trevor did not know why she’d picked him of all people to be comfortable with: he didn’t even care what she was saying almost ever. 

“Orientation starts at 11:30. I’m heading out really soon though, I have friends here I want to meet up with before we have to go to the auditorium. I would invite you to come with us, but it’d be you and four girls you probably find annoying.” She laughed, and Trevor knew she’d included herself in those numbers. At least she was self aware, and at least she wasn’t being pushy for him to go with her to socialize, like most people would be. 

“No thanks. I have people to see, anyway.” He didn’t really, whatever. The idea that quiet, introverted Rowan already had multiple more friends than loud, extroverted Trevor confused and irritated him a little, but it also seemed like his brain had been searching for any little thing for him to get annoyed at, recently. 

Rowan just nodded, and left him to stand in the sun-warm kitchen for a moment or two by himself. He thought of where he could go to kill time until orientation, but his mind fell on the next door neighbour guy. He had dark hair, what appeared to be black or dark brown, and had seemed pretty pissed off even before he’d noticed Trevor watching him from the roof. 

Ignoring that train of irrelevant thought, Trevor returned to his room and picked out some clothes to change into properly, suitable ones for his semi-first impression at the college, and grabbed his phone from where he’d abandoned it on the floor next to his bed. A few texts from the guys he’d been friends with back in his town, a few instagram messages, a lot of snapchats. He didn’t open any of them. 

Trevor grabbed his wallet, headphones and keys before leaving, deciding he probably didn’t need anything else, and left the house. He began walking before he realised he didn’t actually have a destination, but he also didn’t really care. 

It was hot out. The kind of hot that distracts you from doing any one thing for too long, the kind of hot that makes you crave a nice cold swimming pool or a group trip to the beach. One thing Trevor already adored about the city was the beach. He’d always been a winter person, but there was something special about late night beach bonfires with all your friends and a cooler of shitty beer, or quick trips to play volleyball in the sand with family and a group of strangers. 

He reached the cyclists path stretching all the way down the side of the beach before he’d even realised, slowing his pace down to properly take in the views. In the early morning, the only people out on the sand were surfers just coming back in from catching early morning waves, young people jogging along the shore and dog walkers. And Trevor, stood by the small steps down to the sand watching the waves stretch and and contact back in. 

Trevor was a winter person, but something drew him to water. He’d always loved swimming, when he was younger he went to the town leisure center a few times a week. He hadn’t noticed when he’d stopped going, and the itch to get in the sea and swim in that moment was overwhelming. Just the smell of the salt water was driving him a little bit crazy, and he was feeling quite impulsive. He turned around before he ruined one of his few clean outfits with sand and salt, and walked directly into a small amount of shops rather than along the shoreline. 

There were a few different tourist trap shops, which was surprising to see for someone who’d grown up in a boring suburban town. Other than those, there were three shops modeled similarly. One was an open front cafe with an unsurprising sea theme, little turtle models and painted beach huts and sea nets decorating the place, seating outside and in. The one in the middle of the three was a surf shop with other things like buckets and spades and body boards. There were a few expensive looking wet suits in the back, along with full size surf boards and other more legitimate things like surf wax and bits of scuba gear. The last store was the one that actually interested Trevor. 

It was a skate store. Not a cheap mall one like the only one back in Snoqualmie, where he hailed from. Most people there enjoyed skiing or snowboarding, which he also loved, but that wasn’t really an option to him anymore. It was a nice store, with decks lining an entire wall, containers of blank wooden ones and boxes of spray paints to be sold, along with a board building station and areas for wheels, bearings, grip tape. Racks of Vans and Thrasher and other skate clothing lines were placed around, and a whole wall of skate friendly shoes were to the back. A few ramps covered in marker graffiti and stickers were in corners, and Trevor could see things like rollerblades and scooter handles near the back too. The walls were all painted with cool looking murals, and he could hear the indie-rock music humming just slightly before he even opened the door and walked in. 

There were only two people clearly working in the store when he walked. One being a guy, assumably not too much older than him, behind a counter conversing with a young kid whilst cutting grip tape from a deck with a razor. The other was a younger girl with dark hair and heavy looking makeup, way at the back talking to a few older teenagers. There were a few other people in the store, but Trevor didn’t really care. He walked straight to their display of decks, an impressive amount. He had two boards with him at the new house: a double kick osprey board his dad had gotten him for his birthday almost a year back, and a carving skateboard about 35” in length. The others, including any old parts, had all been sold for college funding

“Need any help?” Trevor almost jumped at the sound of a voice as he leant forward to inspect a board. It was the guy from the counter. Trevor could now tell they were practically the same height, probably the same age too. The guy had short hair, a pretty dark brown, and a light owl tattoo on his neck. Trevor gave a half hearted smile, wanting to be polite but not really caring. 

“Nah man, I’m good, I was just looking. Don’t really have the money at the minute.” He joked, only half serious. He had spare money if he really needed new bearings or something. “Plus I think I’d make my boards jealous if I bought a new one my first day here.” 

The worker laughed, and briefly glanced over to the counter he’d been at. His name tag read ‘Ash’. “You’re new here? I wondered why I’d never seen you. You don’t really look like a tourist type, but this is really a tourist store.” Ash gestured to the washed out, torn up cuffed jeans and lilac santa cruz sweatshirt. Not very appropriate wear for a summer in a beach city, but he was from Snoqualmie. 

“I got here last night, but we’ve been moving stuff in for weeks. Thought I’d scope out the area before I went to college orientation.” 

“Do you go to state?” Ash asked, clearly surprised. Trevor wasn’t really expecting to make any friends for a few days, definitely not before even stepping foot on college grounds, but Ash was nice and easy to talk to. From experience, skaters were always the chillest people Trevor knew. 

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I moved here for. That and the sea.” He could see the beach even from where he stood, through the window at the front of the store. So far it seemed anywhere he went he would still see the coastline. Ash laughed. 

“I'm starting at state, too. I’m Ash, by the way.” Trevor knew Ash could tell he’d read the name tag, but it was a clear prompt for his own introduction. It seemed they’d be actual friends, rather than just a polite skate store employee and random college kid. “Nice to meet you, man.”

“Trevor.” He said, smiling properly. He was surprised to have made a friend, but definitely glad. Rowan had visited for college open days and a plethora of other things and managed to make a few friends already, so it was nice to at least not be completely alone. “What classes are you doing?” He knew he should probably let Ash do his job, especially if he also had to be at orientation (which he did. everyone starting did, Trevor knew that), but he was selfish and bored. 

“Engineering science and music studio.” Ash grinned, and somehow Trevor wasn’t surprised at all. “Quite a contrast, I know. I couldn’t pick between them. What about you?” 

Picking what to do had been one of the most difficult things for Trevor. Film Studies had been an easy and immediate option, and then he’d been so stuck between English Literature and Psychology, so he’d managed a way to do both. “Film, English Lit and Psych.” He waved his hands in a jazz hands motion, and smiled a little embarrassed. 

“Oh shit? You've gotta be super smart.” Ash raised his eyebrows. Trevor couldn’t blame him for being shocked, especially not since they were standing in a skate shop. “Especially for Psych. That’s impressive, man.” 

“Thanks.” He smiled, and was about to comment on how doing engineering science has got to be pretty hard too, until he saw the abstracted clock behind Ash’s head. “Oh shit. Orientation is about to start.” 

Ash turned around in a heartbeat, nearly swearing as loud as Trevor had. “Oh fuck. We should probably go. You need a ride?” Trevor was going to decline, he’d already made the guy late, but Ash insisted. “I’ll be right back. Wait here.” 

Trevor checked his texts as Ash went to the back, presumably to clock out or tell the other worker he had to leave. He had two new messages, both from Rowan. One was around twenty minutes prior, reminding him to not be late. Another had just arrived, and was asking where he was because they were already filing into the auditorium. Ash practically ran through the store, keys in hand and changed into a hoodie. “Let’s go.”

The rush to state college was quick, and luckily it wasn’t far from the skate shop. Trevor texted Rowan on their way there, saying he’d gotten a little bit distracted and was a bit late. He didn’t normally respond to her messages, but it was a different situation than normal. 

They made it into the auditorium just before anything began, but they wouldn’t have missed out on much anyway. This orientation was mandatory before starting classes, but there had been a whole week of them. Rowan had gone to a couple at the start of the week, but Trevor hadn’t gone to any, so he was supposed to had to sit and listen to the school policies and such, before they started getting to the most interesting stuff. 

Tour groups were deviated from the mass of freshmen, and Trevor didn’t immediately recognise anyone in his own group. He’d seen Ash go to the same group as Rowan, which was annoying. It might have been selfish, but he prayed they wouldn’t talk. He was never good at sharing. 

Oh, he did recognise someone. Dark hair, clearly dyed black now that he was closer, and sea glass blue eyes that he hadn’t been able to notice from the roof of his house. His next door neighbour, the one who’d said something and slammed the blinds down. What a coincidence. 

Trevor probably would have spoken to the guy if his group hadn’t have walked off out of a fire escape door and into the campus, his lack of attention leaving him on his own for a second. 

Campus was beautiful. It was bright and green, and the buildings were well kept and modern. It was clean, and nice, and there were signs everywhere for different blocks. He couldn’t really pay much attention to the droning voice of some posh older tour guide though, so he opted to read signs when they came to more important looking buildings. The space in between those, as they were walking or listening to boring college history, he took as his queue to socialize. Specifically with the one peterson he recognised, who had looked towards him multiple times when he must’ve thought Trevor wasn’t paying attention, and looking away when he realised he was. 

“Hey, so. We’re neighbours, that’s pretty cool right?” Trevor asked as he walked beside the dark haired male. “I just moved here, for college. I’m Trevor” He introduced himself, figuring it was the last awkward way of starting a conversation. Growing up in a close knit town all his life meant he wasn’t very good at introductions, because he’d known all of his friends since kindergarten. 

“I don’t care.” The guy bluntly replied, casting his grey blue eyes away from Trevor. Okay, that definitely wasn’t a win, but he wasn’t giving up there either. If they were next door neighbours of the same age, who went to the same college with opposite windows, Trevor was determined to make friends with him. It was like every heterosexual romcom ever, except just two bro’s. 

“Come on, man. We’re neighbours.” Trevor sighed, attempting a less full on approach. More like himself, less peppy and enthusiastic. That seemed to work, because the dark haired guy reluctantly looked back at him and rolled his eyes, but not in an irritated way. 

“I’m Brandon.” He said, giving a simple nod as a hello. He was less warm than Ash was, but Ash did seem like one of the nicest guys ever from just that one experience. “This tour is such bullshit, it's boring.” 

Trevor laughed. “Yeah. Plus this dude is like, mega pompous. He was probably a prefect in some private high school before this place. What a culture check.” Brandon actually smiled at that, which made Trevor a little happy. Take that Rowan, he could make friends too. “Hey, how come you barricaded your door yesterday? You seemed pretty pissed.”

“That’s none of your business.” Brandon remarked, his smile disappearing. Okay, Trevor kind of sucked at that. He could admit it, whatever, but still. 

“Geez, sorry dude. I’m just trying to make conversation.” 

“Why?” Brandon pressed, clearly actually pissed off now. Trevor swallowed. “Why are you bothering me so much? Go pester someone else.” The brunette of the two laughed nervously again, but that subsided quickly as Brandon walked ahead of him. He jogged a little to catch up, not letting go of that opportunity yet. 

“Because-“

“Being neighbours isn’t a reason.” A few people had started to turn around at the slightly seething voice that was just rising in volume. “You’re the problem. I’ve known you for five minutes and you’re already annoying.” Maybe Trevor should back down, but he was a little desperate. It wasn’t even the window thing anymore, or the silent battle with Rowan. He didn’t know what it was, maybe it was how quick Brandon had decided to dislike him. 

“I’ve barely done anything.” He spoke weakly, voice less quiet. 

“Do you not understand? Fuck off, man. Are you a queer or something, is that why you won’t leave me alone?” The accusation stunned Trevor to silence. Silence normally inferred being guilty, but he was more just in shock. Brandon shot one last insult at him before Trevor fell to the back of the group, staring dead ahead and barely listening to the Percy Weasley clone drabble on. The tour seemed to end soon after that. There was a seminar or two that Trevor didn’t pay attention to, and then they could go home. He saw Ash in the distance and considered going to say hi, but his social battery was more than five times drained. It was in the negatives. 

[2:15pm]  
From Rowan Fricks:  
want a ride home? 

[2:17pm]  
To Rowan Fricks:  
that’s the only good  
thing i’ve heard all day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew i know this is slow i’m sorry at least it has overdramatic brandon right ?!!!!!
> 
> numb trevor gang


	3. New Flesh

Trevor was not even a little bit excited for the first day of classes. He really wanted to be, but after the orientation day and the tour, he couldn’t. When he and Rowan had arrived home after a mostly silent drive, he told her he was feeling sick and wouldn’t eat with them that night. She seemed a little worried but he didn’t really care. His dad had checked on him later that night and had said in a sad tone that he felt like Trevor wasn’t himself, that he’d barely seen him. 

He couldn’t care that much, because when Trevor woke up, his father and Cassidy had gone out again already. Rowan was the only one in the house, sitting outside in the back garden when Trevor went to the kitchen to get a glass of water after he woke up. 

He didn’t have class for another hour, but after arriving late the previous day, he decided he might as well leave early and grab a coffee on the way. He didn’t alert Rowan of his appearance, but she noticed, waving through the big window along the kitchen that faced the back garden. He gave a small head nod back, and returned to his room. 

Being too mentally fucked to unpack the day before, he still had limited clothing options since everything was taped in boxes. He would’ve liked to pick out something nice for the first day, but his choices were limited to a pair of brown cuffed pants and a light blue Alex G shirt. After grabbing his backpack, Trevor slid his laptop and charger into it, as well as a couple of pens and a notebook. He put plain vans on before leaving his room, headphones over his ears. Rowan was in the kitchen when he went in, also just about to leave. He vaguely heard her ask if he wanted a lift, but he was already a little bit sick of being driven around by people, so he waved her off. 

His skateboard was by the front door, so he grabbed that instead, as well as his keys and wallet he’d left on the counter by the door. 

Before leaving properly, he quickly got up directions to different coffee shops in the area, which seemed like a hipster-y one with a million different options fairly near his college. He started skating and worried about getting lost later, only half knowing where he was going to get there. He knew he was at least going in the generally right direction. 

The more house-based part of the city was almost as pretty as the shore. It had as much greenery, with big lawns and plenty of trees and parks every now and then. He even passed a skatepark that he definitely would have to go to soon after, and what looked like a dog park. Eventually he made it to the coffee shop, ordered an iced drink when he realised just how hot he was, and kept skating, sticking to the sidewalks. The one downside he realised the more central he got in the city, was the high amounts of traffic meant he had no option but to skate on the sidewalk, which was more than awkward when he passed people or other obstructions. 

With twenty minutes until his class began, Trevor picked up his board as he got to campus and began to try to navigate himself to the building he’d checked the placement of on the online map. He had a psychology lecture for an hour and a half, and then english literature later in the day, a couple hours in between. Most of his days were like that, but a few had back to back classes. 

He finally found the right building, and finding the right hall from there was easy. Not too many people were sitting down, so he sat in a half empty row and set up his laptop and sipped at his drink. A lot more people filed in every now and then from when he sat down, and the room quickly filled. He notices when Hawk Carter walks in. 

Hawk went to Trevors high school for a few years before he moved away, clearly to where Trevor now lived. They weren’t super close friends, but they hung around the same group of people and went to the same parties and social gatherings, so Hawk predictably came up and sat next to Trevor upon noticing him too. “Holy shit dude.” Hawk grinned, his friendly personality clearly not having dissipated even a little in the year or so it’d been since they'd seen each other last. “You go here now?”

“Yeah.” Trevor smiled and nodded. He wanted to be nice, but he wasn’t really in the mood and he didn’t actually know Hawk personally very well. “I moved here recently for college, and Rowan Fricks. She’s… I guess my sister now.” Hawks raised his eyebrows, probably thinking back to when Trevor more or less terrorized her. He’d never specifically apologised for it, but he hadn’t done anything like that for over two years. That was when he first found out about his dad cheating on his mom, when they told him they were getting a divorce. He’d found out it was Rowans mom himself, through the power of taking his dad's phone. He didn’t know they’d end up being serious, and looking back, he probably would’ve bothered Rowan more if he had known. 

“Wow. That’s… intense.” The taller male said, not moving to get out his own method of note taking or anything. The professor wasn’t even there yet. “Do you still…” Hawk clearly didn’t know how to word the question, at least not politely, but Trevor knew what he meant. 

“Make her every day a living hell? No. Not for like, three years. I mostly just ignore her.” He was open to admitting it. He was open to admitting he didn’t like Rowan, or her mom. He wouldn’t explain why, but he’d happily say it to even a stranger. To people who’d known him back then though, him ignoring her existence other than snide comments was a major improvement on his behaviour. He knew he wasn’t nice, he just didn’t care. 

Hawk seemed impressed, anyway. “Damn. And you’re here, taking Psychology. Not high. Are you even still the same Trevor?” He joked, but it was true for the most part. Though he wished he was high in that moment, on anything. “You were a bit, y'know. Definitely cooler now. Do you still talk to George?” 

Trevor gritted his teeth, even though it hurt. “No.” He said simply. “We drifted.”

Hawk let out a little laugh, finally reaching to his bag and taking out a sleek, modern laptop. “Really? You guys were attached by the hip. Almost weirdly clingy.” He observed out loud, in a tone that sounded like he meant to just think it rather than speak it. “Did you guys ever do anything together?”

Trevor was taken aback. It shouldn’t be surprising. They were incredibly close, and Hawk wasn’t the first to make that comment or ask that question, but he was the first that Trevor couldn’t just punch into shutting up, not if he wanted to keep his place in the college. But he was pissed off, incredibly so. “What the fuck dude? No.” 

Hawk held his hands up in mock surrender. “Sorry, it’s what everyone was thinking.” He looked away from Trevor, “especially with the way you looked at him.” The lecture had started now, but Trevor didn’t care. He saw red, he obviously wouldn’t be able to sit and focus with that asshole sitting next to him. His blood felt as if it were literally bubbling and boiling under his skin: he wanted to scream. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Trevor spat, loud enough for people to begin to turn around. He couldn’t look at Hawk for the fear of decking him in his stupid face, so his fingers clutched at the wood of the lecture hall table so hard the knuckles turned white. He felt sick to his stomach. 

“Woah, calm down. I was just saying, it isn’t a bad thing. I thought you’d know, to be honest.” 

“Shut the fuck up!” Trevor yelled, slamming the lid of his laptop closed. That definitely caught the attention of everyone, and their professor. He felt like he was going to pass out. He would’ve said more, but he was cut off before he could even open his mouth. 

“Trevor Askill, is it? Leave my room. This is college, not high school. We don’t tolerate distractions like that.” Without another word, Trevor grabbed his laptop, skateboard and bag, leaving his mostly empty cup on the table and left as quickly as he could. He was shoving his laptop into his bag when he made it to the main hallway, and everything building up in him from before he even arrived at the city overflowed and sent his brain into overdrive. He dropped his back and slammed his hand into the wall, not caring if it was distracting. Fuck their ‘this is college, not high school’. If he wanted to have a breakdown in a hallway, he should be allowed to do that. 

With another frustrated scream, he slammed his hand into the wall again, not even stopping to thank the gods it wasn’t drywall, and was concrete. Even if it hurt his hand way more, at least he wouldn’t be fined. Plus the destruction upon himself was kind of satisfying. With one last punch, his knees felt weak and he collapsed onto the floor. 

Day one was going oh-so-well. 

“Damn, it always is the loud and obnoxious ones that have the most issues.” A voice from the right said. Trevors brain clicked back into place, and he finally registered the incredible pain in his knuckles and along his hand. Of course fucking Brandon would be the one person to see his breakdown. 

“I’m not in the mood.” He snapped, reaching for his bag and standing up without even looking at the darker haired male. A pain shot up his arm when he pulled the bag up and over one shoulder, but it was easy to ignore when he’d had worse injuries before. Brandon laughed, and Trevor could hear him following him. 

“What, you can annoy the shit out of me and overstep but I can’t? Double standards.” He spoke mockingly, with an overdramatic and fake gasp in between his words. “What happened? I’m allowed to ask even though we’re strangers because I like, live next to you. It’s automatic.” 

Trevor stopped dead in his tracks and tried to level his breathing. “What’s wrong? Losing your temper? You know, I think you might have more issues than me. I mean seriously. I’m just joking and you can’t even handle that. Do you have anger management classes? Is that where you were?” Psychology wasn’t too far off, ironically. “Don’t go silent on me now, motormouth, you were so into me yesterday.”

He was losing his breath. Imagining what it felt like to burn alive, Trevor decided he was in much more pain than that. He had a splitting headache and his chest hurt and felt tight and knotted, and his hand was absolutely killing. He tried to hard to ignore Brandon’s words, but if he didn’t speak and stayed there they’d only get so much more annoying. 

Without saying anything, he walked as fast as he could to the door, fumbling with the handle and just about making it outside, tripping a little with his desperation to get outside. He heard Brandon laugh behind him, and that was it. He dropped his board to the ground and pushed off as hard as he could, not giving a shit if he wasn’t allowed to skate on campus grounds. He didn’t want to run, but he couldn’t stay near that asshole any longer. 

He ended up at the shore, watching the waves crawl in over and over. He didn’t even notice when Ash sat down beside him until he started speaking. He definitely hadn’t noticed he’d stopped almost right in front of the skate dotes. “Do you not have a class?” He asked, somewhat quietly. 

“It ends in forty minutes. I think.” Trevor commented, numbly. “Psychology.” He didn’t move his eyes away from the waves. His skateboard was to his side, in between himself and Ash, with his bag on top of it. 

“Want to come put grip tape on a few boards? It’s always satisfying to do.” Trevor decided he liked Ash, a lot. He didn’t ask why he wasn’t at his class, or even really acknowledge that he wasn’t his usual self (not that he had much to go off of).

“Yeah, okay.”


	4. California Friends

When Trevor returned to his house, the only person there, yet again, was Rowan. It was the first time he’d seen her since the car ride other than in passing, truthfully. She was sitting on the sofa in the lounge, watching some weird thriller movie on low volume, surrounded by pillows and blankets. He didn’t bother to try and go unheard: she paused her movie to talk to him. 

“We got our first landline call earlier.” Shw informed, like he was supposed to be interested. He understood new things and moving were exciting for some, but that seemed a little too dull for anyone. “It was college.” The dark haired girl deadpanned, and Trevor understood why she was telling him. It was obviously about Hawk, and what happened in his Psychology class, and probably that he skipped English Literature that day with no pre-warning. “Trevor, I’m not your dad. I can’t tell you what to do, but seriously? Yelling at someone in your first ever class? And then skipping English?”

He’d never really seen Rowan properly angry or properly disappointed. He’d seen her contain anger, mostly derived from him when he caused her hell, but he’d never seen her display it. She wasn’t even that angry, she just seemed let down and perhaps a little agitated. “We’re not in high school anymore. I mean seriously, what did he say to you? I’ve heard people talk about shit to you and you’ve never once acted out against them, unless you had nothing to lose. You have everything to lose here.” She was right, but he was so sick of people reminding him that college wasn’t high school and implying he was being childish or overdramatic. So what if he were? It was his decision to lose a place to live and school to go to. 

That was the one of the two conditions from Trevor's dad; he could live in the house with himself, Cassidy and Rowan rather than paying his own rent for some shitty college dorm and having to get a full time job. He had to stay out of trouble, and he had to stop being such a dick to Rowan. His father knew it’d been a long time since he’d done anything, but it was a precaution they took before making two teenagers who more or less despised each other move in together. 

If he acted out, he’d either get kicked out of the houses or get kicked out of college. Or both. 

“So?” He asked finally, looking down at the floor and kicking the back of his ankle. He probably looked like a shy child, but she’d found his achilles heel: he’d die before he had to drop film. 

“So, you have a meeting with some guidance counselor tomorrow. It’s mandatory.” She definitely didn’t look impressed, Trevor couldn’t blame her. Normally he’d get annoyed at her telling him what to do, but they both knew he couldn’t get annoyed, because they both knew she was right. “I won’t tell your dad.” 

Trevor didn’t really know what to think about Rowan. She was nice to him, too nice, and it vexed him for the reason that he knew he wasn’t good enough of a person to return that good will. Even her mother hadn’t said a single word about his acrimony toward her or her daughter, despite knowing his past of tormenting Rowan. They were too nice for him, that was clear enough. 

“Why?” He asked, a little stunned. It wasn’t in a berated tone like his normal direct addresses were, he was just… dazed. Rowan blinked at him a few times, baffled. 

“What do you mean ‘why’?” She asked, turning her whole body around on the sofa to face him. 

His fingers nervously tapped along the seam of his jeans, counting the seconds, counting the stitches. “Why are you not going to tell my dad?” He didn’t want to sound thankful, even if he were. He wasn’t ready to accept them as family just because she’d done a few nice things for him: they’d still torn his blood family apart. “Why are you nice to me even when I am the way I am?” He didn’t want to sound sad or vulnerable, and it didn’t even really come across that way. Rowan's eyes still looked sad as he said it. 

“Because I know you’re just upset. I know you’re sad because your family will never be the same as it was, and I understand that, I really do.” She was making direct eye contact, he knew that much, but his eyes locked onto the wall behind her. “But I know you’re a good person, Trevor. I know you’re just angry at your dad.”

He swallowed. “You don’t know anything.”

—

One thing that Trevor had accepted many years prior was that he wasn’t a good person. He would never be a good person. And, in all honesty, he didn’t want to be a good person. Whenever he’d attempted in the past, it’d crashed and burned and scalded any sense of morality or kindness to other human beings he had left. So what if he didn’t have the clemency of Rowan? He didn’t need it. For all he cared, the world could go up in flames and he’d take a relaxing bath. 

It was night, again. Trevor had been texting Ash on and off for a few hours after he’d gone to his room following his conversation with Rowan. He didn’t stay to look at the reaction on her face after he spoke, he just walked away. His pseudo-sister hadn’t bothered him since, so he assumed she was probably upset or simply didn’t care. Maybe she’d tell his dad after all. 

Ash was a distraction. They talked about Snoqualmie and the city, about State College and engineering and film. It was nice to just have a friend to talk to about absolutely nothing, just to kill time and lift the mood. Gripping the boards with Ash had been fun too, especially because Trevor was weirdly good at it. He’d done it once for his own board, and it’d been slightly rough back then, but after a few practices on throw-aways and tips from Ash, he was pretty good. The cut was mostly clean, he could do it fairly quickly. 

From: Ash  
wanna go 2 the grotto?

From: Ash  
it’s this skate park. i can send u directions 

To: Ash  
now? if you’re up for it, sure 

From: Ash  
nice! [address] i’ll meet u out the front in 40? 

Trevor wasn’t really expecting to eat with the others after earlier events anyway. He knew eventually he’d have to, but for the meantime he was happy to avoid it at all costs. Plus, he didn’t have to make excuses if he wasn’t even home to say them to anyone. He didn’t need Cassidy fawning over him asking if he wanted some painkillers when he woke up in the middle of the night to get a drink, again. 

Trevor didn’t know what the Grotto was, anyway, and it sounded exciting. He trusted Ash, which was strange for him, after only a couple of days, not to mention one of Trevor's favourite things to do was late night skate. It was so peaceful, and the roads were so quiet other than the hum of street lamps and wheels turning on concrete. He grabbed his board from the door, slipped on a pair of beat up skating vans and a green jacket that was a little too big for him, reaching to his mid-thighs. He’d be a little cold, donning only a plain thin cotton black shirt underneath, not imagining it was freezing in such a sunny summer city anyway. 

The lights were off in the hallway, and he could see they were off downstairs too, but the faint hum of TV and occasional mixed laughter clearly meant Caissy and his dad were watching tv in the lounge. That was fine, it was easy to get past without being seen. 

“Trevor?” He hadn’t noticed Rowan's open door, or the dimmed light that was on, but it wasn’t like he was looking. He couldn’t really deal with her then, though. He was exhausted, he just wanted to go to the grotto and skate and probably get high. Walking past with a barely audible sigh didn’t satisfy Rowan though, because he heard her stand up and walk after him. “Trevor. Don’t ignore me.”

“What?” He snapped, glaring sharp hazel eyes at her. He didn’t like to be mean, even if he knew he’d been in the past. He was horrible actually: insensitive, torturous, he made Rowan and countless other people’s lives a living hell. He wasn’t really like that anymore, but that was a peace treaty with his school and his dad. That didn’t mean he had to tolerate her, he still hated her just as much, and every time she spoke to him like she really was his sister, that bitterness reared its ugly head. “You’re fucking impossible.”

She clearly wasn’t expecting that reaction. Her breath stuttered slightly, and she blinked at him as if she were literally processing his words. “Are… Where are you going?” She asked quietly, almost shyly. Her old reaction to him being a dick was ‘ignore and move’ on: don’t say a word, but her comfort in him simply because they slept in the same house had clearly worn that down. Obviously, until he snapped. 

“Out. With friends.” He replied bluntly, lifting up his board and raising his eyebrows like he couldn’t understand why she was asking. He just wanted to be left alone. “Not that it’s any of your business.” She surprisingly didn’t look upset by that, but Trevor couldn’t blame her. It really wasn’t any of her business, and she couldn’t argue with that. He felt sorry for her though, she wanted something he couldn’t give her. She seemed to want them to heal and actually become a family, which was funny. 

She nodded and rested her head against the frame of her door. “You made friends then?” Trevor didn’t want to say that no, he hadn’t made ‘friends’ plural, but rather just the one. He also didn’t want to say he’d made said friend from a skate shop, not from the  
place most people expected to make friends at his age. He didn’t want to mention the fact he’d already probably made two people hate him from single encounters. 

Instead, he nodded and gave her a look that said he was leaving. She sighed, and gently closed her door as he began to creep down the stairs. He kept his volume to a low, sneaking easily past the parents backs and to the kitchen, taking the back door to the garden and the gate from there, rather than even attempting to open the front door quietly. 

It was just dark out, a weird mid tone blue casting heavy shadows of houses and trees in inky black onto the concrete. Barely knowing the city yet, Trevor had to check his maps app several times before he reached the grotto quite a while later, wondering if he should’ve maybe just taken the train and gone from there. From a ways away he could already see Ash, learnt against a wall with one foot on top of his board, talking to another guy. Upon seeing Trevor, he grinned and waved him over. 

“Welcome to the Grotto.” Ash greeted, gesturing to the grand, run down building behind him. Trevor could already see the graffiti covered ramps, a fair deal of teenagers on skateboards, scooters, BMX bikes, other just simply sat on old bits of scaffolding, or grouped in corners passing around clearly illegal substances. “It has it's own special charm.”

“I can see that.” Trevor laughed slightly, kicking his board up into his palm. The guy with Ash was a fair bit shorter, with hair in tight curls, possibly bleached at the ends. He seemed friendly enough, greeting Trevor almost as soon as he got there. 

“I heard that you’re new.” He said, putting emphasis into his words. “I’m Sean.” 

“Trevor,” He turned to face the front of the grotto, and the slope down to it. “So, what is there to do here?” He asked in a low whistle, shifting his board to fit it under his arm. Ash grinned beside him, picking up his own and slowly walking toward the pit of high teenagers. 

“Oh, you know. Skate, get high: all the good things in life.” With a single grin, he dropped his board to the ground and pushed off down the slope, turning at the bottom and heading to a near corner. Sean laughed behind Trevor, beginning to follow Ash down. 

“He’s so dramatic.” The curly haired male rolled his eyes, and gestured for Trevor to follow him into the abandoned warehouse looking build. “Guess that’s what stoners are like. Come on, you can meet the others.” Slipping his phone into his pocket, Trevor followed Sean down the ramp and into the bottom part of the building.

They walked through a few open wall entrances to more covered parts of the building, all while talking quietly between them. Ash skating ahead meant Trevor wasn’t quite sure where he went, and even considering the dodgy setting, Sean seemed nice, and the worst that could happen is getting his phone stolen, which he wouldn’t be too bothered about. 

That was overthinking, of course. They actually ended up in a back part of the building, similar to where they entered. Ash was in the corner with a small group of people behind a particularly large ramp, whilst people skated past and others sat on raised parts of the building above and around. “Don’t worry too much dude,” Sean said, noticing the way that the other male eyed the people they were approaching cautiously. “They’re all pretty nice. You seem cool, you’ll get along with them.”

Ash grinned and pointed at the newcomer directly, so casual introductions seemed out of the window. He was thankful for the opening, but it would still be pretty uncomfortable. He hadn’t even noticed a certain dark haired person near the back of the group, hidden behind a couple other people. “Guys, this is Trevor. He’s cool.” Ash smiled, and then faced Trevor properly to address him. “These are possibly the most annoying people I know. You’re welcome.” 

A girl next to him laughed, and Trevor was a little stunned at how pretty she was, but also just how badass he could tell she was just from looking at her. “I’m Jai. Ash says we’re annoying to cover how annoying he is.” She gave a sharp smile to the significantly taller of the group, and shoved slightly at his shoulder. “This is Tessa, my girlfriend,” Jai began introducing each person, who seemed to each tune into the conversation as they were mentioned and then back out again after. Jai didn’t even get to introduce the last person, because he cut her off. 

“Brandon.” The already too familiar sharp eyes and annoyingly mocking smile faced Trevor, and it took all will to not actually sigh with how cliche the dude seemed to be. Seriously, he was like every stereotypical bully from a 2000’s Disney movie ever. “How’s it going, newbie?” Brandon moved forward, dropping the dog head of a joint to the floor and crushing it with his foot. Trevor laughed. 

The rest of the group had already broken off into their own conversations, and not even the polite characters of Ash, Jai and Sean seemed to be paying attention to him or Brandon, who was now stood next to him. They were almost even in height, Trevor guessed he was only a couple centimeters taller. 

“You’re friends with Ash?”

Brandon shrugged, a sly smile still glued to his lips. “I guess so.” Before he could continue, Brandon’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and Trevor noticed the way he flinched as it did, and how he slowly took it out of his pocket. He watched as his neighbour read whatever the notification was, watched as his whole body relaxed and how his hands seemed to curl almost self consciously when he noticed the other watching him. “So. Are we getting blazed or what?” Brandon asked a little louder, obviously because he was talking to the others. His eyes didn’t leave Trevors for a few more seconds, cold and staring. 

Stinger was the one to speak up. He looked older than all of them except maybe Jake, but not concerningly so. He had a few tattoos dotted around his face and neck, and dark hair to match his black clothed getup. “Hell yeah we are. You in, newbie?” Trevor prayed that nickname wouldn’t stick, because he already hated it. He thought of the guidance meeting he had the next day, too. He still nodded.


End file.
